5. The Desire to be Heard

I think one of our basic needs in life must be the desire to be heard. Over the  years, I have become very aware that I did interrupt and want to respond in the middle of a conversation. Almost as if I needed to convey my thought before it disappeared! Having become aware of this unattractive habit, I had to do something about it, otherwise I would not be left with many friends, right?

So I started noticing that when I gave an opinion and if the person was in the middle of their talk, they paid no heed to what I was saying. For example, a polite enquiry after my health brought any detailed response from me that was unexpected, the person would skim over it and carry on with what they wanted to say. It made me realise that the person was not really interested in my answer. I am generalising here but it can be true in far too many cases. So instead of talking about myself, if I asked them about themselves and listened genuinely to their thoughts and opinions I was considered a very good conversationalist!

There is a flip side to everything, even in this. Recently, I have been accused of not being engaged because I may have remained silent for a little longer before responding, just because I thought I was allowing them to finish their sentence! This probably happens because I  am unable to take a visual cue from the person’s expression, especially if their tone of voice does not suggest that they have finished. Perhaps this indicates that we have a need to be acknowledged too? We have to laugh at the comedy life provides!