19. Not having an Answer

Being able to say ‘I don’t know’ and feeling comfortable with this, though challenging, can be freeing. In the past, when I could not find an answer to a given situation, I felt compelled to assume some possibilities to try and understand what may be going on. Over time, I have learnt the folly of this method. Making an ‘Ass-of-U-Me’ is what I am doing when assuming! So, what must be happening when we ‘presume’? We stray into a territory of ‘making things up as we go along’, often very far from the truth!

Having grown up in a school system where we had to pass all our exams prior to moving to the next class, meant that we got trained into scoring as many correct answers in order to succeed. Imagine the pressure we are placed under living in this education system. Is it any wonder that I have always found myself trying to answer even when the question was beyond my remit?

I remember the number of times I tried to give the right answer whenever my son asked endless questions as he was growing up. I got away with most of it when he was little, (though I did get accused of ‘blagging’ sometimes!) but soon he knew more than I did in certain specialist subjects. Now, I find myself asking him for explanations in areas of his expertise. The point is, that when I am in the place of not having an answer, it puts me in a space of being open to new information and possibilities; not being stuck in just one correct viewpoint.

This particular admission of not knowing what is happening globally today is extremely relevant because coming up with unfounded theories and sharing these as truths is creating more fear and stress for all of us. It’s definitely not a place I want to find myself in. It is much better to admit that I know very little in the grand scheme, and remain open, curious and reflective to learn more.