67. The Flip Side

Like many, I have been reared with the concept of striving hard and persevering, despite any difficulties or struggles encountered along the way. This ethos has helped me to build my resilience in many aspects of life. Indeed, having grit and determination are admirable qualities to help us achieve success in every path we choose to pursue. However, could the reverse sometimes be necessary and life-affirming? Consider the act of quitting when appropriate as a wise action, not a weakness…

Listening to an interview with a psychologist who has written on the subject of ‘quitting,’ reminded me that there is always a flip side to every teaching. This author herself has experienced giving up her studies and changes to lucrative careers when it became necessary. Her book cites examples including mountaineers who perished just because they refused to climb down when it became dangerous. The resistance to ‘quitting’ in every situation is mainly due to having invested so deeply in resources, whether in time, personnel or finances, that it becomes extremely difficult to admit mistakes. In the process, one can lose sight of the reality and sacrifice more heavily by continuing in an endeavour.  An exit plan is considered to be essential before the start of any well managed project. Yet, similar scenarios are also often mirrored in many professional institutions, careers and toxic personal relationships, amongst other areas of life.

When it comes to ‘quitting’ or ‘giving up’, there is often a sense of failure, shame and not being good enough and perhaps a feeling that if we persevere, we can turn things around. Doesn’t this sound akin to the behaviour of a person with an addiction? In the case of gambling, smoking or alcohol consumption, quitting would definitely be considered as an admirable strength. Hence, both sides of a coin are of value and relevance. The wisdom lies in the objective knowing of when it is appropriate to persevere in our endeavours and when it is better to quit.